Montag, 8. August 2011

Choices

Today I have realized something that seems quite important to me. Sure, I knew this before, in this unconscious, subliminal way. But now I understood it.

I have to take a 15 minutes ride with the Tram every morning. I try to go after all the pupils went to school and before all the tourists are on their way to Schloss Nymphenburg to make it a stress-free thing as I do not want to arrive totally stressed at the office.

Some days ago directly after me a family with a 3years old boy entered the Tram. The boy was just in the middle of a rage attack. He cried and shouted from the moment he entered the Tram until I left it 15 minutes later and did not stop for a single second. He was in that panic mode that little children sometimes get into when they are totally overwhelmed - parents know what I mean. He was constantly repeating one single sentence ("I want to get in" - Ich will da rein) with only slight modifications. He was deeply red in the face, tears were dropping on his already wet shirt. He was completely unable to answer his parents questions, he was not accessable with any logic approaches his parents tried or promises they made. It was clear that he had already forgotten where he wanted to get in and why he was crying. He was just reacting to his overwhelming feelings and found no way out. I was so sorry for him, if I had known how to help him I would have done this. But I didn't know.

But in this moment I understood: I am not like this little boy anymore. In 98% of all situations in my life I DO have a choice. There might be cases where I only can choose how to react to something, but I do have a choice. This is really "wow": At least to me :-)

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